I want to say sumthin' about my ENGAGEMENT. 1 thing that is supposed not to be said at all. 1 thing that I should keep for myself.

I remembered I have given so much to him
The very first rule to keep in mind is to give and to take
Reminiscing the past, he's less to offer than to give

I've been wondering since back then
I am wondering now
I am assuming things
I've been told by my mind that what if...
What if he never had a crush on me?
What if I'm just a friend?
What if I'm the only one who keep pushing him around?
Pushing him to love me
Pushing him to get engaged with me
There are times...
Times when I asked him a lot about marriage
And those are the times when he left me crying
And looks like nothing is mutual between us anymore
I remembered the fault now, the error
I never truly loved by any man
Therefore I might be living this life alone
I might had none...
None to love with since somehow I will die alone
Left alone and cold in the grave.