Oh no... This issue has been a nightmare to me. I had to restrain myself from doing anything that requires water. That also means I have to lessen my actions and moves from one place to another.

I am so bored. Stay at the study table and read books all the time without even watching news or reading paper really make me sick. I don't know what's happening in the world today.

Other chapter

What I hate the most is when people tell us what to do and what not to. I am not a kind of person who willing to obey people's command. I only want a little space for myself.

Now I realize that I have to stand on my very own feet. Not to depends on anyone else. Since my primary school, my best friends kept running away from me. Normally, they will be "seized" by someone else before I know what's happening.

It makes me confused and I am searching for the mistakes I have done. But if because of the mistakes they could stay away from me, it's really unfair.

Everybody used to make mistakes and I am only a human being. I have no idea whether I must surrender to my friendship feeling or my instinct. I am truly hoping that this will stop one day or will it just keep on like this till the day I die? Then I will wake up from my remaining to find out whether my friends cry on my death or not.

There is something that you cannot explain to anyone else even in writing, that is the deep feeling inside a human being; the true sad story of a person about anything.